A Letter to September

Dear September,

I have to confess something. I have been mistaking you with August for the whole 30 days, I don’t even know how. I think it’s because you usually make such a dominant entrance that everybody can’t help but to acknowledge you. The change you bring to so many lives is undeniable, some people may even think of you as January’s twin. There are some students who dread meeting you, some who are excited and there are parents who are relieved to have routine and structure back into their lives. I, on the other hand, don’t fit into one of those categories. Although, I am no longer in education, I feel like I have finished the academic year, graduated with the grades to prove it and yet somehow I’m still there when I know I should be moving on.

You see, September, you’ve just left me feeling really confused (which isn’t unusual). If I know that I’m wandering down a dead end road, then why am I still walking? I suppose I’m just a little disappointed because I was really hoping that you would completely change an aspect of my life. I felt so ready to take the world by storm and to put myself out there and  progress. It doesn’t make sense to me why you’ve made me stay in the same place when I’m capable of so much more. I hope when we next meet, it’ll all make sense and that you are leading me to a diversion which will eventually take me to where I want to be.

However, it would be wrong of me to say that you have left my life untouched. After months, if not years, of loneliness and isolation and a couple of failed attempts at socialising, I finally found a group of people I fit in with. They are as warm and welcoming as an open fireplace on a cold winters night. You know what they say, third time lucky! So although my anxiety may have escalated in the beginning, and may continue to, I know that it is totally worth it and I should have nothing to fear. Here’s to me hoping that life will only get better from here.

Always, Ashlea

 

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Being Young & Twenty

As a young person, I always get asked the same question. So, what do you want to do with your life? And my answer still remains, I don’t know. It used to stress me out a lot. My mind was flooded with endless questions that I just didn’t have answers to, whilst everyone around me seemed to have an idea, a dream, a plan. But now, as I turn twenty I’m starting to embrace the uncertainty and letting it empower me rather than scare me.

I think there is this huge misconception that ‘being young and twenty’ means having your life figured out. That your teenage years are your experimental years and when you reach your twenties you should have a life plan. But I don’t believe that. To me, being young and twenty is your time for figuring it all out. It’s a case of trial and error, as we all search for those things that make us happy and try to incorporate them into our lives as much as possible.
I may not know what job I want or where I want to live or at what age I want to do ‘adult’ things, like move out and settle down, but I do know this:
I want to learn so much more, from people, books and experiences. I want to travel and explore. Document life. Be creative. Become a better person. Help people, inspire them. Make a difference. Have fun. And there’s no better time to tick of all those things on my bucket list, than right now as I venture further into my twenties.
So to those who are twenty and confused, and still have your life to figure out, this is our time. Our world may be full of doubts and uncertainty but it’s full of possibility and we have the freedom to explore it.
(This is was featured on http://www.youngandtwenty.com