Dear readers, (if I even have any anymore)
I feel like I need to explain myself and the lack of activity on this blog. Firstly, I want to apologise if I have let anyone down because I know for a fact that I have let myself down. When I first started this blog, it meant everything to me. It gave me that platform to express myself honestly and be able to share that with anybody who cared to listen. It consumed most of my thoughts, it gave me so much hope and excitement from everything it could develop to be. Writing this blog was my escape out of my 9-5 daily working routine stuck in an office. I really had high hopes for this blog and to grow along with it; to share my journey.
Now, I’m in no way saying that I’m giving up or that this chapter in my life is coming to an end. This isn’t another blogging fail where somebody starts a blog and doesn’t keep it going and it’s just another faded dream. I just need some time. Time to rediscover myself, rediscover what I want in life and my ambitions. Time to get my life back together and start to really feel what it’s like to live. Time to readjust my brain and begin to write frequently. Time to get back into the fluidity of writing. But mostly, I need time to find hope again. I need to find that part of me that was bursting with hope and positivity, where my dreams were as big as the universe. The part of me when I believed that I could do anything. I don’t know how long it may take but I am determined to find her again.
I’ve gone through some changes over the past few months, if you have read my recent blog posts you may have noticed. Life has been different. I’m in a relationship now and as you can imagine it has been at the forefront of my mind and has been wonderful; definitely a roller coaster of emotions. So because I have been so wrapped up in love, I haven’t really had the time, brain power or motivation to compose blog posts. I hope you can understand.
I just wanted to write this because I have felt lost recently, a little in life but mostly within myself. I’m starting to realise that maybe I used to define myself through my creations and seeing as I haven’t been creating lots recently have felt that I am losing who I thought I was. It’s a confusing and frustrating matter. Many not-so-mid-life-crisises again, needing to have the answers to what will make me feel most like myself and how I can feel satisfied with my contribution to the world.
For the time being I will resign from scheduled posts as I don’t want to write anything just for the sake of it. But you can find me on Instagram as always_ashlea as I am continually posting on there, trying to get back into photography.
Thank you for reading and understanding. I hope to speak to you soon, as enthusiastic and eloquent as ever.